You pull in, sign the forms at reception and get handed a map with a highlighter line to your site, plus a sheet of park rules: quiet hours, speed limit, where the bins are. Easy.
What nobody hands you is the other list. The one the regulars carry around in their heads. Break one of those rules and nobody will say a word to your face, but the whole row will know about it by breakfast.
So here it is, written down for once.
1. Never cut through someone’s site
A caravan site is someone’s front yard for the week. The annexe is the lounge room, the mat is the doormat, and the gap between the van and the car is very much not a footpath. Walk around, even when it adds a minute to your trip to the amenities. Even if they’re not home. Especially if they’re not home.
The same goes for kids and dogs. If your crew is taking shortcuts, the neighbours will notice before you do.
2. Happy hour starts when the first chair comes out
Nobody sets a time. Somewhere around 4:30, someone unfolds a camp chair with a drink in hand and, one by one, the row follows. If you get waved over, the etiquette is simple: bring your own chair, your own drink and your own cup. Turning up empty-handed and drinking someone’s last cold one is how you stop getting invited.
It also helps if your drink is still cold by the second story. That’s exactly what we made Rita for, and she has never once been late to happy hour.
3. Wave
On the highway, on the way to the amenities block, at the dump point. Caravanners wave. It costs nothing, and it’s how half the best camping friendships start: a wave on day one, a chat on day two, and by day three you’re comparing notes on where you’re headed next.
4. Don’t watch someone reverse in
Reversing a van into a tight site is stressful enough without an audience. You have two options: walk over and offer to spot, or go and find something to do inside. Standing nearby with a coffee, watching every correction, is not an option. Nobody parks well with a crowd, and you’ll want the same courtesy when it’s your turn.
If you do offer to help, agree on the signals first. “Left” means very different things depending on which way you’re facing.
5. Quiet hours are quiet hours
Every park sets its own, so check the board at reception when you arrive. When quiet hours start, generators go off, music goes down and voices drop, even if your night is just getting good. Sound carries a long way across a park, and canvas walls don’t stop much of it.
The same goes for the morning. Packing up early is fine. Slamming doors and idling the car for twenty minutes isn’t.
6. Don’t hog the hot water at 7am
The morning shower rush is real, and everyone in the block is drawing from the same hot water. Keep it short in the morning and save the long, leisurely one for mid-afternoon, when you’ll have the place to yourself. Whoever’s waiting behind you will be grateful, even if they never find out it was you.
7. Point your lights at your own van
Fairy lights along the awning are lovely. A floodlight lighting up the neighbour’s bedroom window at 11pm isn’t. Angle outdoor lights down and in towards your own site, and switch the big ones off when you head inside.
8. Slow down for kids on bikes
School holidays turn every caravan park road into a racetrack. Kids on bikes and scooters come out of nowhere, and they won’t slow down for you. Drive at walking pace, every time.
9. The camp kitchen is shared
The camp kitchen runs on trust. Wash up straight after you cook, wipe down the bench and the hotplate, and take your things with you. A pan left “soaking” overnight isn’t soaking. It’s abandoned. If the fridge is shared too, label your food and don’t take over a whole shelf.
10. Leave your site better than you found it
Before you pull out, do one last lap. Pick up rubbish, bottle caps and anything that blew under the van, fill in any holes from pegs or poles, and check for the tent peg you always leave behind. The next people should pull in to a site that looks like nobody was ever there.
Got a rule we missed?
We’re fairly sure every regular has one more. If you’ve got a rule that belongs on this list, come and tell us in the TE Community Facebook group. We’ll add the best ones.
And if you’re heading off soon, make sure you’ve got rule number two covered. Rita and Maggie will keep happy hour cold long after the sun’s gone off the awning.
Happy touring,
Shelby & the Touring Essentials team
